


What's In A Name

by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1)



Series: The Pacemakers [13]
Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bets & Wagers, Canon Compliant, Crack Treated Seriously, Family Bonding, Fluff and Humor, Multi, Name Changes, Prompt Fic, Team Dynamics, Xenophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 09:44:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7262875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Im_The_Doctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“We have to do this,” Bumblebee sighed. “It’s Optimus’ orders. If we have fun with it, it might be a good experience! It’s a way of bonding with the humans.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It’s not bonding!” Cliffjumper spat the word as though it burned his mouth. “You’re just saying that because you have no trouble making nice with them!”</em>
</p><p>The Minibots are predictably aghast at Prime's most recent idea of making nice with the humans. Then Brawn brings a bet into it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's In A Name

**Author's Note:**

> Pace - A company or herd of mules; in my headcanon, a family of Minibots; also a traditional expectation and an honor among Minibots who form one.
> 
> One - the first Minibot to agree to join the proposer's pace; Sequein - the second to agree to join; Trilitare - the third to agree to join; Quanidre - the fourth to agree to join.

“This is fraggin’ ridiculous,” Cliffjumper announced peevishly. Brawn grinned widely, reclining on his berth and waving a data pad.

“You would say that; you’re probably just sayin’ that cos you know you’ll come up with somethin’ strange. But hey, little buddy, that’s why we’re here! We’ll make sure you pick something that sounds…” He hesitated for a klik or two before concluding gleefully, “…nice and friendly.”

“Frag off.”

“Watch your language,” Windcharger warned, swatting at the back of his helm and promptly ducking the fist that swung at him in return.

“We have to do this,” Bumblebee sighed, leaning forward on his berth to set his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands. “It’s Optimus’ orders.” Always the optimist among them, he tried for a small smile. “If we have fun with it, it might be a good experience! It’s a way of bonding with the humans.”

“It’s not _bonding!_ ” Cliffjumper spat the word as though it burned his mouth. “You’re just saying that because you have no trouble making nice with them! All this is, it’s the higher-ups hoping they’ll accept that we’re aliens more easily if we register with stupid _human_ names they came up with!” So saying, he stalked across the room and snatched the data pad from their leader, squinting at the list of potential names. The capacity on the pad was nearly halfway full…Their list was a bit impressive by Cybertronian standards, but Cliffjumper didn’t dare admit that.

“What have the Bulks picked so far?” he demanded skeptically.

“Whatever they pick, they’re pretty fitting,” Gears admitted grudgingly. “Let me see, Wheeljack’s registered as ‘Jack’ or ‘Jackie’, the Datsun twins are ‘Paul’ and ‘Blaise’, the Lambos are registered as ‘Simon’ and ‘Spencer’…” He grimaced, shuddering a little at the foreign sounds he was making. “The doc chose ‘Rodger’, Jazz is ‘Jasper’—ugh, but it sounds so _catty_ , doesn’t it?”

“He told us we can call him Jazz anyway,” Bumblebee pointed out stubbornly. “Since the humans actually have a kind of music by the same name. C’mon, guys, it’s not that bad! We don’t have to call each other by these names; it’s just for the humans who can’t get used to our names, just like we can’t get used to theirs.”

Cliffjumper gave him a withering glance before returning his attention to the list. “Cadwalader?” he burst out in disbelief. “That—that’s an option? Were these humans _blitzed_ when they named their creation?!”

“Wouldn’t put it past them,” Huffer sighed, slumping gloomily against the wall and folding his arms over his chest.

“Okay, okay,” Brawn cut in. “Enough whining. You need to choose something or those registry people are gonna give Optimus scrap.”

“Oh, no, _you_ go first,” Cliffjumper ordered, holding the list out by two fingers. Brawn rolled his optics, leaning back on his elbows.

“I chose joors ago,” he stated, optics nonchalantly roaming the ceiling.

There was a full minute of silence before Gears threw his hands up. “What, are you going to make us guess? We’ve got a list with a few million options; we’ll be here the whole quintun and I’m in no mood for that! I have coils I could be greasing!”

Shrugging weightily, Brawn chuckled, looking quite self-satisfied now. “Bryan. S’close enough to my actual name, right? Better yet, it means ‘brave’ and ‘virtuous’! Done and done.”

“If only it could be that easy for all of us,” Huffer mumbled.

“It can be if I make it,” Brawn informed him, sitting up straight and cracking several joints, earning wary looks all around. “How about this? You're all gonna pick a human name like I did and for the rest of the quintun, we’re going by those names. You call a pace-mate by their Cybertronian name, you lose your high-grade for the next _two_ quintuns!”

There was an eruption of protests, ranging from Windcharger’s plea of “Don’t bring the high-grade into it!” to Bumblebee’s demand of “Who’ll it go to?!” to Cliffjumper’s “You better tell me you’re joking or I’m going to…” which had gone unfinished.

“Hey!” Brawn barked, sitting up further to take on more authority and encompass his mates in one silencing glower. “We’re doing this, end of story. It’ll be fun. Even if we’re not bonding with the humans, which I don’t really care about, _we_ might as well bond, right?”

“Aren’t the bonds we have enough?” Cliffjumper grumbled.

Brawn considered, leaving them tense. Though they didn’t often discuss it openly, Brawn was infamous for being fiercely pace-oriented and all about finding new ways to make them stronger, but they had been together for several vorns now and they all thought they had been doing a pretty good job at being stable pace-mates. Whatever Brawn’s answer was, it could bring several private hopes for dignity crashing down.

“Yeah,” Brawn said at last, earning several inaudible sighs of relief. “But I mostly just want to see if you’ll hold out. Mine’s easy to remember!”

Even Bumblebee looked skeptical at that, but at Brawn’s gesture the pace started passing the list back and forth up and down the ranks, muttering in tones that weren’t as quiet as they hoped they were. Finally, pouting mournfully, Huffer scrolled through the list and then nodded decisively, tossing the pad onto the floor in front of him and sending a thin crack through the screen.

“So…” Brawn hummed eagerly. “Who am I meeting? Huffer?” At the others’ incredulous stares, he gave them a chiding look. “Really? The bet doesn’t start until I say it does.”

Huffer fidgeted uneasily, swinging his legs with furious abandon and mumbling something inaudible.

“Well, if you’re not cooperating, I’ll have no choice to call you by your _title_ for the quintun,” Brawn threatened, earning a wince from his One.

“Don’t!” Huffer whined, hunching his shoulders and shaking his helm ruefully. “Hunter. I’m going by Hunter.”

“Good mech. Gears?” Upon receiving a noncommittal grumble, Brawn raised his eyebrows. “I’m gonna have to threaten each of you personally, aren’t I? Alright, let me think. I’ll just take that medical buffer you’re so fond of, go to the top of the volcano and—”

“Gibbs,” Gears spat. “Why is my punishment so much worse than Huffer’s?!”

“Cos you’re more _stubborn_ than my little One,” Brawn pointed out, earning a sure shot to the shoulder which miraculously made him wince for a nanoklik. “Trust me, ol’ Spitfire’s going to get the harshest.”

“Cliff,” Cliffjumper drawled, tone cool even as his optics were igniting with defiance. “Cliff or CJ.”

“That’s cheating!” Bumblebee burst out.

“They’re on the almighty _list_ ; you can check!” the **quanidre** growled back. “It’s Cliff or CJ and if you want to call me anything else, you can just give me your high-grade now!”

“Who says it’s going to you?” Bumblebee countered. At Brawn’s pointed look, he huffed lightly. “I’m Beetie.”

Whirling fully around, Cliffjumper planted his hands on his hips in challenge. “You’ve got to be kidding! And you say choosing ‘Cliff’ is cheating?!”

“Beetie’s on the list too!” their youngest announced indignantly. “It’s Gaelic!”

“Like we care,” Windcharger sighed. “Brawn, I chose Sherwin. There’s nothing _remotely_ close to my real name, unlike these two. You’re not going to let them get away with that, are you?”

“Well, if they’re on the list, I’ll let ’em,” Brawn shrugged it off, beaming at his pace-mates, who frowned stonily back at him. “Hmm, maybe I can get Optimus in on the action! I can’t imagine the Bulks making it through a quintun with human names!” Hopping from his berth, he urged, “Let’s go ask him. Huff—” He paused, smiling tactfully. “Hunter. Grab the data pad; we might need it.”

Obediently Huffer slunk after him, muttering, “Sure thing, _Bryan_.” As their leader marched into the hall, Huffer glanced dolefully at the others. “It’s going to be a _slagging_ long quintun,” he murmured, resigned to his fate.

As he elbowed his way through the others to follow Brawn, Gears remarked gamely, “Maybe I’ll just throw _myself_  down the volcano.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for my recent lack of activity; I've been on vacation lately and now I'm trying to get back in my groove.  
> Really, I have no idea who's going to win the high-grade in the end XD Leave a comment with your opinion!


End file.
